I write this from my new place of activation, my Mom’s house in the Hollywood Hills. From this first statement alone the first thought for many of you is probably “Oh No! What happened??” Living with your parents is something looked down upon in our society for sure and personifies “loser” for those wrapped into American social norms. Even though in many cultures around the world, children never leave their family home, and instead raise their children there. Truth be told, I have lived at my Mom and Dad’s home many times as an adult, and historically been embarrassed of this and even ashamed of my seeming failure to “make it” in life. Considering this and the fact that I said I would never move back, this most recent move back to the family home was surprisingly graceful and had a distinct lack of kicking and screaming. The first night sleeping here I felt, safe and secure, even… satisfied. Perhaps it’s because the reasons for the move are due to big things about to happen in my business that require all my funds, showing me that I am living into a level of commitment and integrity I have been desiring within myself for quite some time. Or perhaps it is all of the deep inner work I have been doing, dissolving ego and awakening my heart. Perhaps it is the breaking down of the importance of “making it” as our flawed society sees it, and knowing my livelihood stems from more than money or the acquisition of high dollar toys and observable stature. All I know is, appearances be damned, this feels right and I decided to embrace it.
Over the next week, I worked with my Mom in her garden, began cooking breakfasts and dinners (gasp!) for my parents and keeping things cleaner than usual. Each contribution was joined with an inner peace and satisfaction at being of help to my family. On my walks with my dog I appreciated the beauty of the Hollywood Hills in a new way, with innocent eyes. One morning while sitting in the yard overlooking the garden I realized that the frustrated desires I have been holding for some years, desiring a familial community, a garden to grow food in and beautiful surroundings, had been met in a place I never expected… right at home. Sure, at some point I would like a partner to be added into that family and a community land with many families to put my love and energy into, but how perfect to be given the gift of giving back to those who raised me and allowing myself to receive the love and support so naturally given? To grow food that benefits me and my parents in our own backyard and to contribute to the home that is HOME right here and now. What a revelation that so much of what I have been wanting has been right under my nose. It took me dropping my resistance to see it. I know this is not forever and when the time is truly right and the abundance that is around the corner flows in, I will likely move. Till then, I will love this house and the family in it and appreciate all the blessings my pride had hidden from me.
So if you see me, ask me “How is your family?” and share a smile and some love with me for all the gifts we have, if we will but surrender with no apologies and in full gratitude.