Today my brain tried to convince me I had a problem. A little voice latched on to the fact that all I wanted to do today, instead of going and taking care of my awesome horses, was to hang around in my underwear and do nothing. My brain wanted to make a "thing" out of it. OMG! Are you over horses? Are you going to have to find homes for them? How will I face up to this challenge?? ARGGHHH!!! Luckily, I have TOOLS. ha! I was able to notice what was happening before I could actually believe any of the cockamamy stories my tired brain was launching on the movie screen of my mind. I was able to remember that much of the thoughts running through our heads are just noise and have little to do with actual reality. Whew! What is true is that I just got back from Hoop Camp, where I had a wonderful time but also worked my butt off, didn't get enough sleep, taxed my voice and then drove alllll day to get home. I am just in need of a personal recovery day. DUH. End of story. Here is what helped me NOT go down that rabbit hole:
- Recognizing that I am tired and that's ok. I know myself enough to know that when I am tired sometimes my brain likes to make overblown stories rather than recognizing that sometimes humans get tired. And that doesn't mean anything other than you need a bit of a break for a moment.
- Recognizing the various voices in my head and their agendas. Over the years of personal work of various forms I have learned to identify the false selves that occasionally try to rear up and make choices for me or convince me of things that aren't true. In this case it is the "there must be a problem" voice. It is a part of me that is constantly looking for something wrong or some way I am f*cking up. Today was a beautiful day, and I am SO blessed to have horses TO take care of in my life. AND yet, this voice wanted to find a problem just because I was tired and wanted to hang out and eat ice cream. By realizing that this was just a part of me, not my REAL self I took my power back and didn't let it have free reign with my life.
- To take action on these first two points, I kept affirming to myself that 1) the stories being spun in my head were NOT real, and 2) that everything was just A-ok. Realizing that just needed a day of rest, I cleared my schedule of as much as I could to provide that. If we have needs, it is up to US to make sure they are met. When we make sure our needs are met, the committee in our minds tends to quiet down and settle into the functional roles they have, rather than the dysfunctional ones.
- I took one moment at a time. In my tired state, the thought of taking care of 3 horses and all that entails, seemed overwhelming. What I know is that NOTHING is ever done all at once. Everything we do in life is taken one step at a time, whether we like it or not. This means that no matter what is before me, I do have the energy to accomplish one step at a time. When looked at like this, plus the affirmation that my life is actually freakin AWESOME and everything is A-OK, I was able to relax, take myself to the barn and enjoy my lovely 4 legged beasts.
So, this was my process for the first half of the day. I would forget and fall into judging and worrying at times. Only to catch myself a moment later and remember that it was a beautiful day and everything is actually just fine. Besides, no amount of worry ever did anything good anyway, so why spend any time on it? By the later part of the day, I felt released into my day of rest with zero judgment or future-izing. Thank goodness! The only thing worse than a day wasted on worry, is a day OFF wasted on worry. Tomorrow is a new day and an early bed time beckons. I'm going to let myself enjoy the F out of it. How about you? What lies in your own head are you letting ruin your outlook on life? Well.... stop that already!
~ Sweet dreams to all~