ha! Sorry, just chuckling at the title to this blog... heehee! Ok, ok.. I'm good now ;)
I have the good fortune to have not one, not two but THREE Dad's. Only two are daddy's that society would understand, one being my biological dad and the other being my step dad. My third daddy was a friend of the family that not many people know I considered another father. I will get to talking about him in a moment.
My first dad is my biological dad, Eric. He is a free spirit that taught me about everything esoteric from a very early age. He supported my mom in the exactly how she was wished during my birth and took the first opportunity to calculate my astrological chart down to the second my little body made its way into this world. Though they split when I was 4, and I don't remember much before the age of 5, I know he loved me dearly. From a very early age he took me on shamanic journeys into nature, all the while filling my head and heart with knowledge of aliens, fairies and the spirit realm. I have him to thank for my magical outlook and outside the box thinking. He wasn't around more than about once a year growing up, but the visits we did have forged a lasting bond unlike any other. When I am having an existential crisis, he is the one I talk to, as well as deep and meaningful breakthroughs in my life. We truly speak the same language and that is such a gift. My dad is a resource for the guidance and astrological needs of so many and I am blessed to have a bit of his spirit and super weird and awesome genetics.
Eric Starwalker, Bio daddy
My second dad is my step-dad, Bill, a second generation professional musician specializing in brass. The trombone is his thing and if you have seen any movie, ever, you have heard him playing on the sound track. Bill swooped in, like a knight in shining armor and rescued our family when I was 9. Up till then my mom was struggling to support herself and 2 kids. We grew up on econo-buy everything and my mom had to work multiple jobs to make ends meet. Bill is like my very own Daddy Warbucks. Without him I wouldn't have had the safety and comfort of growing up in the Hollywood Hills. I wouldn't have been able to follow my love of horses from a very early age, or been able to again follow my heart with pioneering the art of hoop dance. Bill gave me his last name and selflessly adopted us as his own. He has been the stabilizing influence our family desperately needed. Bill's is the kind of love that is truly unconditional. No matter how grumpy anyone gets or what nutty path I strike out on, he is always there. His is the kind of love and support that is rare and precious. He is the quiet sort, but well known for his generosity of spirit. I love you Daddy Bill!
Bill Reichenbach, (on the left) the daddy that just won't quit (thank God).
My third dad, and unknown to many, was a family friend from when I was about 10 to 15 years old. You may be confused as to why I consider him my third dad when you hear his description. He was an alcoholic and had manic episodes. One time he came into the house with a gun and had to be talked off the ledge by my mom, since Bill was out of town. It took her all night to convince him to give her the magazine out of the gun. He wasn't allowed back to the house after that. That is her story to tell though. It was during a time when my parents, as big hearted as they are, took in a lot of "stray's" Again, a story for another time. Back to Louie. From the start we were best of friends. Louie cherished me in a way that caused me to feel safe and special. He would do things like carry me across the street on his shoulders, even though I was perfectly capable of walking across myself, just in case. I remember him sitting up with me all night, when I started getting asthma and would awake in a panic, not being able to breath. He had funny nicknames for me like "cadillac ass" and "stinky toe". The first being because I had an awkwardly large booty on a tiny skinny frame from a very young age and the later because apparently I had stinky feet. He would grab my foot and sniff it, then exclaim with disgust... P.U! Stinky toe! These two names got shortened to "C.A.S.T" ha! According to my mom, I brought out the gentle in him. With everyone else he was volatile. To me, he was the most gentle, loving and protective daddy-like figure a girl could ask for. Yes, this man that came into our house, black out drunk waving a gun around, had the ability to make me feel safe. Amazing, right? When I was around 15 he died in his sleep from alcohol related illness. Broke my heart to be sure. Since then, in various shamanic experiences, he comes through as a spirit guide and I see how his incredible heart is free to shine. This world was too painful for him to bear.
I can see how these three amazing Dads have shaped my romantic choices in men. At first, like everyone, in not so healthy ways, but now I see that the best aspects of all three are really the ideal person I want to be with. A spiritually connected, stable man that can love me unconditionally with his heart of gold.. in between teasing me about my stinky feet of course ;). Yeesh. Tall order, eh?
I wanted to relate the stories of my dad's not just in celebration of fathers day, but also in celebration of fathers in disguise. Of men, who chose to step into the role of fatherhood, and some who didn't choose but are daddy's anyway. Of men who, though they may be unprepared or troubled, can still make an incredible impact on young girls life. I honor all the men in my life and most especially all 3 daddy's I am blessed to have. The combination of which have given me the most complete love any girl could ever ask for.
Happy fathers day! Give your daddy's some love for me!
xo ~ Anah